ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
