I could have mohawked her pubes.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
