So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
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