69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
