Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
