Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
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It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
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This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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