so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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