And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
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i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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