Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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