a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I need water and some morals
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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