I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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