You can't motorboat a personality
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
