That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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