I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
