his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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