Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
