Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
There are leaves in my underwear?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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