sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
