when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
