That's when you crack a 10am beer
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
