life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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