I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm like, not good at living.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
