I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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