SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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