So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
