I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
