Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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