We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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