Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Also, beer. Big fan.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
