we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
