There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
