2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize