If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
