how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
