Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
