I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
