If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
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he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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