1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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