Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize