you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
