Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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