so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It's official drugs can't kill me
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
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