wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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