Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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