im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
