The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
