Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
