Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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