Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
