i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
