do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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