You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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