i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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