is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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