All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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