are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
