Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
