I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
