You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
