You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
