here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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