i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
