Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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