I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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