i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
