I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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